Marriage is a Verb

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." —Ann Landers 

Ann, I couldn't agree more.

(if you guessed that I'm about to climb onto my Marriage soapbox, go give yourself a cookie...) ;-)

Marriage is especially a verb if you're married to the military (trust me, there's no escaping that fact when you're a Marine Corps mistress...) I've spent more time apart from D than I have with him in the four years we've been together, and while that may sound hellish to most, it's the only life we know. We're both fiercely independent people (jury's still out if that's a bad thing or not,) and having the space that we get is just something we work with. I like to think it makes the time we do have together that much more special, but it's not like I'll forego a girls night out just because he's home.

I think the biggest key here though is that marriage is an action word. We constantly make the effort to be present every day for each other, to be supportive and caring and loving, both in person and when we're apart. Just because my husband's job dictates our geography and how much he's home doesn't mean it has to dictate our relationship. That's something we control. I chose this life when I chose him. I knew what I was getting into. Is it fun? It has its moments, just like everything else (the uniforms are definitely an added bonus,) but at the end of the day I'm married to my best friend and I'd choose that over an easy/cushy life any time.

Given that I'm still a newbie to "The Club" I don't feel that I'm in any position to really give marriage advice, but what I can say is this: cherish every moment you have with your partner, because there are those of us who don't have the luxury of having our significant other home every night. I'll miss D when he's off in Bahrain for six weeks, but you'd better believe I'm going to take full advantage of this time apart to remind myself of why my life is so much better with him in it, and how lucky I am to be his wife.