"Us"

I believe that every couple goes through trials that test the foundations of their relationship.  Some trials are simple hiccups on an otherwise smooth path, and others are a 9.0 earthquake on the Richter scale of life.  The ties that bind are tested, and while many make it through to the other side, there are those who don’t.

Every relationship is different just as every person in those relationships is different from the next.  We are none of us the same, which is why finding someone and falling in love and spending the rest of your life with them is such a magical idea(l).  The odds of finding your perfect (or imperfect) match are tremendous, and in so many ways we set ourselves up for failure because we strive for ‘perfection’ whereas our significant other is concerned, even when we ourselves are far from perfect.

I know my husband is not perfect, but I like to think he’s perfect for me.  And I for him.

I cannot pretend that the last two years have been a walk in the park, although I’ve been told that I’ve made it seem so to the casual observer.  They didn’t bear witness though to the depths of my self-pity on occasion, and the consequent self-loathing as I felt no right to those emotions since we chose to live separate lives.  Many tears were shed and angry emails sent, elation and disappointment felt, sometimes within moments of each other. 

It’s been an emotional roller coaster to say the least.

Looking back I can easily say this was been by far the most difficult trial we’ve faced as a couple (for obvious reasons,) and this is after going through two deployments and several out of country exercises together.  Out of the six years we've been together, my husband has been physically gone for over four of them.  But these last two years demonstrated to me what I’ve always known, just in a clearer light.

We’re meant to be together, but the largest force behind that is we want to be.

Everything we’ve gone through in these six years has come back to that.  “I choose you.”  Our choice has come with the obvious sacrifices that go hand in hand with being a military family, but in my mind it isn’t a difficult choice.  When you truly love someone, what wouldn't you do to be with them?  There will always be sacrifices in life and relationships are hardly an exception.

I’ve had many people over the years tell me, “I could never do what you do,” but I don’t think they give themselves enough credit.  When you can’t imagine your life without someone, you make up your mind to do what it takes to be together. 

No matter what.

My marriage is made of love, patience, understanding, respect, friendship, appreciation, loyalty, and fierce independence.  Joy, passion, fits of laughter, tears, heartbreak, anger, resolution, forgiveness, and compassion.  Common goals, compromise, amusement, sarcasm, unwavering support, inside jokes, good scotch, black coffee, communication, comfortable silences, knowing glances, stimulating conversation, full disclosure, and separate laundry.

All of these things and more are what make us work.  But above all is our desire to make it work.  I can only hope that every married person knows exactly that their marriage is made of, because only then do you truly know what’s worth fighting for:

We... Our... Us.